Dear Margar-etiquette,

I recently took a trip and encountered a couple of situations that really disturbed me.

While waiting to board the airplane, a gentleman was watching something on his phone without headphones. Everyone around him could hear it, and the content wasn’t exactly innocent—there was adult language and profanity. It was an extremely early flight, and people were in varying states of tiredness. I could tell I wasn’t the only one annoyed, but no one said anything. Eventually, he turned it off.

Then, after boarding while we were still parked, the woman in the seat in front of me was on a speakerphone call. With all the background noise from passengers and the plane, she had to speak even louder to be heard. She only stopped when a flight attendant asked her to hang up during the safety briefing.

Am I wrong to find these public “sharings” of personal technology rude? Or is this just the new normal?

I am right, right?

Dear Right,

I have noticed these and other “public sharings” myself. With the wide variety of earbuds and headphones available today—across different styles and price points—you’d think there would be an option for everyone. While they aren’t always appropriate, when they are, we should use them.

An airport is a public space where people can come and go as they please. If you find yourself without headphones but can move to a semi-private area to listen to music, watch a video, or have a speakerphone conversation “out loud,” that’s generally acceptable. However, in fully public spaces, it’s important to be mindful of others. Subjecting those around you to whatever you’re listening to is rude.

On a plane, the only private space is the lavatory—and while you could use your device “out loud” in there, it seems unsanitary and it may not be as private as you think. Still, it’s an option. Before the cabin door closes, phone conversations are allowed, but using speakerphone is inconsiderate. In such confinement with so many strangers, broadcasting a personal or business conversation invades others’ auditory space. And, once the cabin doors close, using devices without headphones is not only rude, but is also prohibited for this very reason.

Now that we’ve established that these behaviors are rude, is this the new normal? I certainly hope not! It’s up to us to model the behavior we want to see—and when appropriate, to speak up when someone is disrupting the shared space. We can right the standards, right, Right?

Respectfully,
Margar-etiquette
#LITA (Love Is The Answer)