Dear Margar-etiquette,

I’m planning an event and having trouble getting an accurate headcount. I asked people to RSVP, but now I’m having to call and follow up with guests to find out if they’re coming. What can I do differently next time to get better responses?

Hard to Plan

Dear Hard to Plan,

You are not alone! Getting people to RSVP these days can feel like chasing confetti in the wind. Despite your best efforts, it’s frustrating to be left guessing when all you want to do is plan graciously and responsibly.

For next time, consider these strategies to encourage a more timely and accurate response:

• Set a clear deadline. Don’t just say “Please RSVP”—add a firm date and make it stand out.
• Make it easy. Use a method that suits your guests: online invitations, a simple text reply, or even a QR code. The fewer steps involved, the better the response rate.
• Friendly reminders. People are busy and distracted, not necessarily rude. A gentle follow-up a few days before the deadline can nudge them without nagging.
• Add a little humor or urgency. Something like “We’re ordering food and need to know if we’re feeding four or forty!” signals that their response really matters.
• Consider offering a “maybe” option. Sometimes people are genuinely unsure due to travel or other commitments. A “Maybe” lets them respond honestly, and you can follow up closer to the date.
• Track your responses in one place. Try a spreadsheet or an app, so you’re not scrambling or second-guessing later.

In the end, remember: you’re modeling courtesy by responding promptly when you are invited. That small gesture helps hosts plan thoughtfully, and it sets a tone of mutual respect. Sometimes good etiquette is a long game. What you model today may gently nudge others to do better next time. And even if it doesn’t, you’ll know you hosted with respect, kindness, and consideration—three essentials that make any gathering feel genuinely welcoming.

With grace and good planning,

Margar-etiquette

# LITA (Love Is The Answer)